Researchers have consistently found a correlation between confidence and success. Confident people are perceived to be more attractive, they are better at sales and do well in front of the room, they also believe they can handle whatever life throws at them and take more risks generally which naturally leads to unlocking opportunities. Now if you would like to see more of these characteristics in yourself.
Here are what you need to do to build your confidence and become a lot more attractive to people.
1. Improve your storytelling
Always be ready to tell a good story, even if your life is generally quiet and lacking adventure or drama. You should always be able to answer the question “what is new with something” other than “nothing much”.
Now, take note, confident people are conversationalists and it’s a skill that may need to be practiced a lot more if especially you’re not someone who sees yourself as confident. There’s a very powerful way that stories get people’s attention every single time and if you’re able to really build the skill of telling good stories you will always have people’s attention when you walk into a room and start a conversation. Storytelling is one of the most attractive ways or interesting ways to keep people coming back to you. And that’s your first tip to becoming really attractive.
2. Be Inquisitive
In the spirit of being a good conversationalist, try to show genuine interest in the people around you. You can’t just ask like random questions all the time when you engage with people, no you need to be generally curious about people, inquisitive about people, what gets them going? What makes them tick? What is next? What’s their biggest challenge? You know those questions that are going to let them really open up to you and tell you more about
themselves and inadvertently keep the conversation between you both going. If you’re able to learn how to get people to open up to you over time you tend to be the one that they come to all the time because they feel like you are a good listener and a good conversationalist. Nobody wants to talk to that person who after the first minute there’s dead silence, awkward! And you know they’re pretty much left to themselves. So, learn to be genuinely inquisitive about things that go on around you about the people you interact with daily and you will find yourself in a better space when it comes to your confidence. Remember, that you might be asked the same questions that you are throwing to people, so always be on your guard and get ready to answer them yourself.
3. Practice Good Posture
People just slouch because maybe they become really comfortable over time and sitting that way, but sometimes, slouching can be as a result of being uncomfortable with a situation or trying to sort of re-adjust themselves to become a little more comfortable.
However, there’s everything to gain with actually sitting up straight every single time, it tells people you’re well poised and you’re ready to take on any single challenge. You would be surprised just how a simple gesture like sitting up straight can communicate confidence to the people around you. Have you ever paid attention to a beauty queen and a pageant or to a gentleman that you really admire at a conference or an event, chances are they are sitting up straight with their head held high and they are commanding attention just by the way they comport themselves.
There is definitely something to learn in posture, if you have a good posture you communicate positivity and you exude confidence.
4. Stop Worrying About What People Think.
I cannot over emphasize this enough, a lot of the time, too many of us are preoccupied with people’s thoughts and feelings about us or what they think about us. It actually takes a bit of mental fortitude to be able to look past and be unaffected largely by what people think about you, but it’s a really strong characteristic or skill to learn, because in life there are always going to be people who will have negative experiences of you, depending on where they met you or how they met you. Not everybody will like you, not everybody will think that you are competent enough, not everybody will flow with you the way you expect them to and that is okay.
Once you’re able to come to terms with the fact that there are people who simply do not like the look of your face, you can live the rest of your life happy because at the end of the day there’s nothing you can do, say necessarily to impress them or to make them change their opinions about yourself. Never let someone’s opinion of you become an opinion of yourself. If you’re confident in your ways, success will come with diligence persistence practice.
5. Eliminate Negative Self-talk
We all do this at some point in our lives because we are all insecure about one thing or another. But negative self-talk can actually be very damaging to progress in life, because you start to believe all these negative things that you say to yourself. I will never be good enough, I will never be pretty enough, I will never be attractive enough, nobody likes me, Stop it right now!
There is power in speaking positive things into your life not only are those positive things uplifting. The universe conspires with you to make things happen. If you do believe that you’re not good enough, you will always encounter people who will make you feel that way, if you do believe that you’re not pretty enough, whenever you look in the mirror that is the only thing that you will see instead of realizing that beauty. If you do not hone the habit of thinking positive thoughts every single time and as often as possible you will miss out on the opportunity to make thoughts become positive vibrant things in your life. Instead of speaking negatively to yourself, start saying positive things to yourself. There are m thousands of literature out there that can help you improve on yourself and become better.
6. Learn from your mistakes without dwelling on them
We all make mistakes and nobody is proud of them. These mistakes should shape us and build us. It should be a unique learning opportunity to change things and become better. It is okay to make mistakes. Reduce the number of mistakes you will make in my life by living vicariously through people, you can’t possibly learn everything on your own and indeed it will be foolish to learn everything by yourself, you can learn lessons by observing others, by learning how other people did it so that you can avoid the same mistakes that they did.
Mistakes are a part of life but do not dwell on those mistakes so much so that it begins to eat you up and stunt your growth.
7. Get Good at Public Speaking
We live in a world where knowledge is power and if you’re able to really communicate your thoughts your feelings and your experiences people will begin to sit up and listen to you. Get good at public speaking. Where the world is going at some point in your life you’re going to have to stand in front of a crowd and you want to prepare for it. You want to be ready for it stand in front of a mirror every day if that’s what it takes and say certain things to yourself and pretend like you’re talking to an
8. Invest in Your Appearance
Dress the way you want to be addressed and this sounds cliche but it’s actually really true. People tend to treat others by the way they dress. People will treat you better if you dress better.
We are visual beings, we like to judge people by appearance. If you want people to judge you positively then you are going to have to look the part I say: “fake it till you make it”. You can never command any kind of respect if you do not look a certain way.
I hope that these tips were helpful and they will help you build your confidence. Improve yourself read books read wide read everything give yourself a year put your head down bury yourself in those books and you may even become better than this person that intimidated you at one point in your life so good luck to you.